Thursday, November 06, 2008

Grandma Doris

Today would have been my Grandma Doris' 97th birthday. She died Monday, after being hospitalized with pneumonia two weeks ago. I had a mixed relationship with my grandmother--I loved her dearly and have many fond memories of time spent with her, but she also had been judgmental of me and my life in my adulthood. Still, we had time to reconcile and got closer, especially after my grandpa died about 10 years ago. I think she was very proud of the writing work that I've done, though when we would discuss church politics, she would often say, "I wish you thought the way I do." To which I would respond, "I wish you thought the way I do!"

She was an educated woman, with a college degree, when not many women had one. She taught home economics and raised three children, including my father. She was attractive and stylish, and would probably be horrified that I'm posting this photo of her looking less than her best. I credit at least part of my creative gene to her (and almost all of my pack rat gene). I think she had some regrets in her life; she had wanted to travel more, see more of the world, maybe have a more sophisticated life than the one she had in small-town Wisconsin. She was from the Chicago area and often talked about life as a young girl on the farm near Gurnee.

Grandma Doris had prayed tirelessly for Sam (and for Sophie). She also helped us financially with the adoption by advancing us some money meant for her great grand-children's education. She was so excited when we got our referral. "Is he particularly cute or anything?" she asked before I could show her the picture to confirm that, yes, he was! In the past few months, even as she lost interest in the Packers (which had previously seemed to keep her alive from season to season), she would always ask about Sam, my dad said.

We had wanted to drive to northern Wisconsin for Sam to meet her shortly after returning from Vietnam, but Sam had been so difficult in the car seat that we kept postponing it. Then we heard that the pneumonia couldn't be cured and her heart wasn't strong enough to pump the fluid out of her lungs. She returned to the nursing home from the hospital last week and we knew it wouldn't be long. Two days later we left for Rice Lake, even though my aunt reported that she wasn't really recognizing people anymore.

Sam was a trooper, sleeping the whole 6 hours on Friday night on the way there. On Saturday morning we visited Grandma and she definitely recognized him. Her eyes opened and lit up, though she was so tired it was hard for her to keep them open. Later she said, "Sam." And then, "I am so tired."

My dad stayed by her side Saturday night until Monday night when she died. My Auntie Sue and my cousin Kim were with her when she died, too. My grandma lived a long, productive and happy life, but I am still so sad that she is gone. I wanted her to see both my kids, and I wanted them to know her. But I am glad I was given the opportunity to have Sam meet her before she died. And I know she will continue to pray for our family, but now from heaven.

May eternal rest be granted to you, Grandma Doris, and let perpetual light shine upon you. May you rest in peace. Amen.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful picture of Sam's beaming face at Grandma Doris's side! I am so sorry for you loss. I wish I could be there physically to support you and your family! So, I'll have to settle for sending you lots of love through the internet.
xo,Kassie

LaLa said...

Heidi, so happy you got there in time for her to meet Sam..he looks pretty happy about it too (I love that hair) Sounds like she was an amazing woman!!! Sending you {{HUGS}} as you go through this loss...thinking of all of you and especially your father on the loss of his mom.

Renee said...

What a beautiful tribute to your grandma, Heidi! I'm so glad she got to see Sam.

Anonymous said...

Our Grandma Gladys turned 95 last Friday (Halloween.) Conrad and I made the trip up to see her the weekend before. Although she is still very active physically and mentally, I couldn't help but have that feeling as we left that we may never see her alive again. I'm so happy to hear that Sam was able to meet such an important woman in your life.
Much love and sympathy,
xo Kristi

Jenny and Jon said...

Heidi,
Your tribute and farewell to Grandma Doris made me cry. What an emotional year we have had! Can't wait to meet Sam!
Love to your parents and let them know we are thinking of them at this sad time.
Peace, Jenny

jen@ Rosey Little Things said...

I am so sorry for your loss! what a great feeling that she got to meet Sam! You are in my thoughts!

Anonymous said...

I enjoy your blog espicaly the last one ,keep them coming.I think I am busy,but I know you are more.